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Chapter 5. Links

Conditions, needs, and functions do not exist separately. They are connected in the sequence: Condition → Need → Function. This logic helps us understand how reality shapes requests and how requests determine actions.

1. Condition → Need

Examples:

  • Condition: little time together → Need: closeness, togetherness.
  • Condition: financial instability → Need: safety, confidence.
  • Condition: pressure from relatives → Need: autonomy, boundaries.
  • Condition: chronic stress → Need: emotional safety.

2. Need → Function

Examples:

  • Need: recognition → Function: communication (gratitude, compliments).
  • Need: shared time → Function: cooperation (planning leisure time).
  • Need: emotional safety → Function: support (empathy, attention).
  • Need: development → Function: joint development (new projects, learning).

3. Personal functions and their impact on shared ones

Strong personal functions reduce the load on shared functions. For example, if a person can manage stress, there are fewer conflicts. If they have hobbies and social connections, their partner does not become the sole source of joy and recognition.

Weak personal functions increase the load on shared functions: a lack of autonomy, social connections, or self-regulation can create excessive expectations and tension.

4. Universal formula

Condition (background) → Need (request) → Function (mode of action)

Example:

  • Condition: lots of work, little time.
  • Need: to be closer and communicate.
  • Shared function: a weekly gadget-free evening.
  • Personal function: managing fatigue to stay engaged.

Conclusion

Links turn abstract conversations (“we need more closeness”) into concrete steps (“we set aside an evening, we create a ritual”). This is the key to practical use of the framework.