Chapter 4. Functions

Functions are ways of acting through which the couple and each partner satisfy their needs under given conditions. Functions are divided into shared (that serve the couple) and personal (that serve each individual). Their balance determines the stability of the relationship.

Categories of functions

1. Shared functions – ensure interaction and shared life.
2. Personal functions – help each person remain whole and develop.

1. Shared functions

They include:

• Communication (discussing emotions, decision-making, conflict resolution).
• Support (emotional, practical, financial).
• Cooperation (division of duties, agreements, and flexibility).
• Intimacy (physical, emotional, intellectual).
• Joint development (projects, learning, rituals, new experiences).

These functions form the foundation of the “we”.

2. Personal functions

They include:

• Self-care (health, stress management, rest).
• Emotional work (self-reflection, self-regulation, self-worth).
• Hobbies and interests (creativity, sports, pursuits).
• Social self-realization (work, friends, contribution to society).
• Personal development (learning, spiritual practices, new experiences).

These functions help a person stay fulfilled and avoid overloading the relationship.

Balance of personal and shared functions

Strong personal functions ease the shared ones: for example, if a person can cope with stress, the partner does not become the sole source of support. Weak personal functions, on the contrary, overload the relationship: when there are no hobbies or friends, the partner has to compensate for everything.

Balance is achieved when personal and shared do not contradict each other but reinforce one another.

Conclusion

Functions are not obligations or rules. They are mechanisms activated to satisfy needs. They can be implemented through different practices, and this is where the framework’s flexibility comes from.